figured this should be right up your ally because of the similarities between an emulator and a private server, and the oldschool vibe of vanilla and smash64!
i play smash 64 online using project64k! got the program from googling project64k blogspot
it says on the site that the program is outdated and you should use a different emulator but it works fine and most people use it
most people play on 2many server or pancadaria
europeans get 2-4 frames of delay, which is real smooth
use a nintendo64 controller with adaptor, xbox360 controller for windows, playstation controller or even a keyboard
let me know if you wanna play